“An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach” (1 Tim. 3:2).
“… if any man is above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion” (Titus 1:6).
The phrase is best rendered “a one-woman kind of man.” An elder is to be above reproach in his sexual and marital life. He is to be blameless in his interaction with the opposite sex. His intimate affection is focused solely and entirely on his wife. Any compromise in this area of an elder’s life brings reproach to the name of Christ, adversely affects his integrity and testimony, and brings confusion and compromise to the local assembly.
In this day of moral decay, elders must be proactive in dealing with this important issue. Among the elders there should be openness about this problem, sensitivity, accountability, and much prayer for protection.
A policy delineating an elder’s interaction with the opposite sex can also prove to be a helpful tool. This could include an elder not meeting alone with a woman either in his office or in a home. It could include not traveling alone with a female colleague on a business trip and not traveling alone with a woman alone in a vehicle.
Even if an elder does not struggle in the area of immorality, he must consider how his interaction with the opposite sex is seen through the eyes of others. He must be wise even in seemingly innocent conversations and physical greetings with women. Compassion and kindness shown by an elder to a woman, if not done carefully, can be misunderstood for something more.
“But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints” (Eph. 5:3). We would do well, also, l to keep 1 Timothy 5:1-2 in mind in all of our dealings with women, both younger and older.