by Erica Fitzgerald
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
In his article “Recovering Proverbs 22:6 for a New Generation,” author and speaker Chap Bettis notes that this once-popular parenting verse has fallen out of favor. Why? Perhaps because people thought of it as a guarantee, and when children wandered from God, it felt like God had broken his promise. But we can’t just scrap the verse—it’s God’s Word, and he put it there for a reason! Proverbs aren’t promises, but they are general statements about the way things tend to go. God means for us to hear this verse, commit ourselves to training our children, and feel encouraged that our hard work has a purpose.
In honor of Mother’s Day, let’s look at two examples of men who were trained by their moms from a very early age. Both of these moms had a sense of urgency in their training. Both of these moms knew they didn’t have much time with their sons, and they purposed to make the most of it, filling their sons with as much spiritual truth as possible from infancy. Their stories are a reminder to be purposeful, even in the little years, to give our kids a biblical foundation and train their habits toward godliness.
The Toddler-in-Training
The first story is of a baby boy who was born with a target on his back. His parents kept him hidden as long as they could, but the older he got, the louder he got, and he became impossible to conceal. When he was three months old his mom got a basket, made it as watertight as she could, and sent her baby boy floating down the river, banking on the crocodiles being less threatening than the government that wanted him dead. Of course we’re talking about Moses.
God’s hand was on Moses’ life, and he orchestrated a way for Moses to return to his mom for his formative years. Moses’ sister watched as Pharoah’s daughter opened the basket and discovered the crying baby. His sister offered to find a Hebrew woman to nurse the baby, and that’s how Moses ended up back with his mom until he was weaned (Ex. 2:1-10).
At most, Moses would have been five years old when he left his mom forever—and probably much younger than that. What must his godly mom have instilled in him in those short years? What can a toddler learn of God?
Apparently a lot, because this is how the Hall of Faith chapter of the Bible records Moses’ life after spending just a few short years with his mom—years he probably didn’t even consciously remember. Hebrews 11:24-27 (CSB) says:
By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter and chose to suffer with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasure of sin. For he considered reproach for the sake of Christ to be greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, since he was looking ahead to the reward. By faith he left Egypt behind, not being afraid of the king’s anger, for Moses persevered as one who sees him who is invisible.
Polytheistic religion was completely central to every aspect of the culture in which Moses grew up. The ancient Egyptians even believed that the pharaoh was a divine mediator between the people and the gods. At the time, that pharaoh was Moses’ adoptive grandpa! How could Moses have escaped being influenced by a culture like that when it hit so close to home?
Perhaps the credit goes to Moses’ mom. From the verses in Hebrews, it’s clear that what she taught him, he never forgot. She taught him that there was only one God, and Moses belonged to Him. She taught him that sin’s pleasure is fleeting and that the eternal rewards of faithfulness to God are better than anything this world has to offer, and even worth suffering for.
So when God appeared to Moses in the burning bush, it’s possible that Moses recognized and obeyed him because of what he learned in his mom’s lap when he was barely old enough to speak.
The Mom Whose Training Paid Off in the End
The second story, retold here from Tim Challies’ book Devoted: Great Men and Their Godly Moms, is about a boy who was born to a very sickly mother and a father who was harsh and mostly absent. Most days his mom could barely get out of bed. But she knew she might not have many years with her son, so she spent several hours a day training him in theology. By the time he was four, he could read fluently and had memorized several catechisms and children’s hymns.
This little boy was John Newton, whom we know as the writer of “Amazing Grace” and hundreds of other hymns. If you know his story already, you know why he calls himself a “wretch” in the first verse of the hymn—it wasn’t an exaggeration. When he was seven years old, his mom died. His dad soon remarried, and John began to rebel. He was soon sent off to boarding school and then began his own career as a sea captain, which eventually led him into the slave trade. His mom had trained him up in the way he should go, and for a long time, he departed far from it.
But the Lord used the godly foundation his mom had given him: after experiencing divine discipline through various circumstances, John eventually repented and became a hymn writer, preacher, and abolitionist. His story is a great illustration of Proverbs 22:6. He wandered from “the way he should go” for many long years, but because of his mom’s faithfulness, he came back. This is what he said about his mom: “Though in process of time I sinned away all the advantages of these early impressions, yet they were for a great while a restraint upon me; they returned again and again, and it was very long before I could wholly shake them off; and when the Lord at length opened my eyes, I found a great benefit from the recollection of them.”
Tim Challies wrote, “Though Elizabeth was gravely ill for all of her son’s early life, she did not allow her condition to keep her from fulfilling her God-given duty. To the contrary, her illness made her urgent to lay an early foundation of Christian doctrine and practice. She used what strength she had to express the deepest kind of love for her son. She taught him to know God’s existence, God’s holiness, and God’s demands on his life. She taught him songs that would remain in his mind and heart until his dying day. She taught him to honor the Bible and to turn to it for spiritual knowledge and strength. She taught him the good news of the gospel, that salvation is by grace through faith in Christ Jesus. She displayed a sweet submission to God’s will and a deep piety, treasuring and obeying God’s every word.”
John Newton’s story is a reminder that the training of our children is never in vain. The apostle John wrote, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (3 John 4), and we could say the reverse is also true: there is no greater sorrow than to know that our children are not walking in the truth. But God sees our diligent efforts, he hears our desperate prayers, and he is working in our children’s hearts, even when the results seem slow or invisible to our earthly eyes.
A Mom’s Obedience
As it says in 1 Corinthians 3, we plant and we water, but God gives the growth. We are like the servants at the wedding at Cana who obediently brought Jesus the water pots so he could make wine. We are like the boy who gave Jesus his lunch scraps so he could turn them into a feast for 5,000. The results are not up to us; we must simply obey God, humbly offering him our time and effort and leaving the rest to him, praying and trusting him to do the real work in our kids’ hearts.
Training our children up in the way they should go will not guarantee that they will never stray from the Lord. But he commands us to do it, and so we must obey.
We all have limitations. Maybe you, like Elizabeth Newton, have a chronic illness that confines you to bed for more days than you can count. Maybe you work full-time and have limited time with your children. Maybe you’re separated or divorced, and your kids spend half their time with their other parent. Maybe you have stepchildren who are only with you on weekends. Maybe your grown children have walked away from the Lord but still value your influence on their children, your grandchildren. The time you have with them, however small, is a gift from the Lord to be stewarded well. Let the mothers of Moses and John Newton remind you that your influence can last a lifetime—even an eternity—if you treasure that finite amount of time and use it well.
As we celebrate Mother’s Day this weekend, may we recommit ourselves to:
- Praying for the Lord to work in the hearts of the children in our families and churches
- Training our children and grandchildren to walk in the ways of the Lord
- Supporting moms in our churches—especially single moms—through encouragement and practical help that will make it easier for them to do their job well
- Honoring and thanking the women who have shaped and served us and remembering to care for them in return
for in due season we will reap,
if we do not give up.”
(Galatians 6:9)
Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash