(Note: While this post was written with elders’ wives and other Christian women in mind, we hope all of our readers will benefit from it and share it with others who might enjoy it.)
It’s easy to see how plurality benefits the church as a whole, as well as the individual men who are in leadership. But biblical eldership matters to women too. I love the ministry of Biblical Eldership Resources because I have tasted the blessing of belonging to a thriving, biblically led church, and I want more women and families around the world to enjoy that same blessing.
Here’s why I, as a woman, love being in a church that practices biblical eldership.
- My family and I are protected from leadership abuse and division.
Churches that practice biblical eldership are careful to appoint Christlike servant leaders who meet the biblical qualifications for eldership, not just men with strong and charismatic personalities (who can be prone to what David Anderson calls “Diotrephes syndrome”). The accountability and shared authority within a group of elders guards them against the sinful tendencies we are all prone to.
For a Christian family, church is absolutely central to family life. It’s where we develop our deepest friendships, grow spiritually, learn to use our gifts, rejoice and weep together, give and receive practical help in hard times, and pray for one another through struggles. Several women in my life have had their churches torn apart by leadership abuse, leaving them and their families stranded. One of these women counts the pain of her church’s split as one of the deepest hurts of her life. After seeing what some of my friends have been through, I am especially grateful to belong to a church whose leaders are equal in their authority and accountable to one another, which provides a good measure of protection for the church.
- I get to hear different preachers throughout the month.
- I am led by men who are spiritually healthy.
A 2022 Barna survey revealed a significant decline in pastoral well-being from the previous survey in 2015. Forty-two percent of pastors considered quitting full-time ministry in the prior year, and more than half of those said the “immense stress of the job” was a factor. Only 22 percent of pastors said they receive personal spiritual support from peers or a mentor. These statistics point to a deep need for church leaders to have other men to work with and share their hearts with. The “Lone Ranger” pastoral model is hurting shepherds and their flocks.
When the shepherding work is shared between several qualified men who are equal in authority, no one man has to feel as though the church’s well-being rests on his shoulders alone. The elders can share the work and emotional burden of preaching, counseling, and decision making so they each have time for their families, their secular employment, and their own physical and spiritual health. And when an elder needs to take a break, he can do so without worrying that the church can’t go on without him.
- Decisions that affect me are made carefully, with many perspectives considered.
For example, a few months into the covid pandemic, our elders (like most church leaders worldwide) wrestled with the competing priorities of protecting our physical health by remaining closed, and protecting our spiritual health by reopening for fellowship. The elders were hearing different opinions from the church body and brought those thoughts to the discussion, along with their own unique life circumstances that colored their perspectives. Their opinions were strong, but their love for the Lord and his church was stronger.
Because each of our elders are biblically qualified, the potentially divisive situation instead became an opportunity for them to practice humility and unity, not being arrogant or quick-tempered but lovers of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined (Titus 1:7-8).
The decision to reopen, which they humbly landed on together, led to the growth of our church as we became a haven in the community for those who longed for in-person fellowship. Our more cautious elders and members continued to join us online for a while, and when we finally reunited in person again, there was no division among us. God’s grace and godly leadership protected our church from disunity.
- Our leaders aren’t afraid to speak the truth.
Church leaders would do a grave disservice to their members by failing to provide biblical direction on controversial issues like sexuality, gender identity, gender roles, and the sanctity of life. In a culture that’s saturated with unbiblical views on these issues, people need clear leadership as they navigate living as aliens and strangers in the world (1 Peter 2:11).
But it takes courage to publicly state beliefs that clash with the culture. A “Lone Ranger” pastor might be tempted to dodge these issues, knowing how much heat he might take if he speaks the truth. A group of elders, on the other hand, can discuss the issues together, develop a unified stance informed by God’s Word, and stand firmly in the truth, knowing they have each other to lean on when the heat comes.
The same principle applies to church discipline. Fear of being known as “the bad guy” might prevent a single pastor from confronting sin, but a group of elders might be more likely to exercise church discipline in a biblical manner. While it’s unpleasant, it can sometimes be a necessary step to maintaining the health of a church—and I’m thankful that the elders in my church have the courage and solidarity to stand for the truth together.